Happy Summer Solstice

As I sit here sipping on an iced latte, of my own making, I wonder what the rest of the year has in store, the rest of my life really. I know we can’t know and I know it is wasted thought-energy wondering.

But….I know what my heart wants.

Let me back up a bit. I have spent almost 64 years on this planet and have experienced so much, some experiences I don’t wish on my worst enemy and some balanced in there have been true blessings.

Today Mr. Bentley and I took ourselves on a summer solstice hike. The day was picture perfect, the sun was finally out and the high humidity had moved on. The Quarry is an easy long hike, as Bentley’s aging joints don’t care for our more rigorous hikes anymore, even if his heart is fully in it. At the Quarry he was living his best life, grass to run through, rain puddles to find, butterflies to chase, and new smells at every turn. He was free to explore.

Bentley looking for his next puddle

Ever since he was a puppy, Bentley has been my companion on runs, hikes, and lake swims. He is 10 years old and looks like a million bucks and has a heart of gold. He happily greats people on our path, especially those who give his ears a good scratching, are friends for life. We usually go for a walk on a paved path by our house, it is easy for him, but not like his beautiful hikes he once was able to conquer. But today was a blessing for both of us. Time to meander – me taking in the amazing beauty and him enjoying all the smells and puddles. I miss taking him on my more difficult hikes it is like I am missing my right arm.

As of late, my heart has been heavy and needed this time away. I have been listening to all the noise of what I should be doing to start my business. The world of business has changed so much from when I taught and created art many years ago. In my opinion, not in a good way. We didn’t have to try new ways to grab peoples attention in a media saturated platform, we didn’t need to try to outsmart algorithms, I didn’t have to try to come up with money for insurance, a website, an email platform, running frantically about making sure I dotted every “i” and crossed every “t”.

Guess what I did years ago? I taught classes, classes that were one day a week for a couple of hours, for six week increments. I created art and sold it. I hung fliers about my classes and people signed up. I collaborated with a small art supply store and taught out of their space and they sold the art supplies my students needed.

I am told no one wants to commitment to learning a process anymore, they just want to make something, take it home, and not think about it again. Is this true?

I understand the allure of going to a class for a couple of hours, doing a project, and take it with you that night. What I don’t understand is why so many people don’t want to learn in depth skills. You can’t microwave knowledge or a skill. It takes learning the skill, practicing and enjoying the excitement as you look back and see how far you have come. What was even better, we developed a community. I taught, they learned and we all talked about life, dreams, and our day. I even had a lady come to one of the classes just to hang out with us, because she had eye surgery and couldn’t paint that day. She came for the community we had created! I had students enroll in my more advanced classes to take on more challenges, some went on to sell their wares. Ladies started my class with no experience, with doubt they could learn, but they did and were so excited about their accomplishments.

When did our world become so busy? Why is this what is celebrated? When did everything get so complicated? I am not completely naive, I know life has always been busy, but this is a whole nether level. I know life can be complicated but again, this is a new level that I don’t know I want to do.

Today…..

When I pulled my old beat-up pickup in to the Quarry parking lot, I could feel Mr. Bentleys excitement from the passenger seat. When we walked up and out of the trees to a gorgeous 360 degree view, I could feel the tension leave my body. This is what I want. I want to drive my beat-up old pickup, that you have to turn the headlights on with pliers. I want to spend more time in nature, than in town.

I don’t want to battle algorithms and twerk so someone will stop and watch my video. I don’t want to join every platform out there and comment on every bodies stuff so I get seen. I DO want to share when I have something to share, comment if I truly love what they have done. I don’t want to come up with a catchy hook magnet to lure someone into pay for the rest of the story.

I had a chat with myself. I reminded myself of another time not so long ago……

Years ago I taped beautiful pictures of WI to my desk , envisioning myself moving from the plains of NE to the rivers and trees of WI. For four years I dreamed of WI and then one day I packed a U-Haul and my son and I did just that, we moved to WI. Neither of us have looked back. Do I miss my old friends? Very much so. Have I had many rich experiences since I moved here? Absolutely!

Again I asked myself, what do you want? What I want is to live in the woods, to create art, to listen to the birds sign and watch the butterflies flutter from flower to flower. To fill my soul with nature walks and tree hugs. I reminded myself I dreamed myself to WI, I can do this too.

When I got home I opened my email and there was a little love note, from Adriene (the sweet yoga instructor that shares her mat with Benji), about Summer Solstice and asking me the following:

“Now. Take pause. Take a breath. Come on. Now ask, What is important? Don’t be shy. Let it flow. What is it you want dear one? Write 5 things you wish to manifest in you life?”

It stopped me in my tracks. As I was hiking in the Quarry, I had asked myself this very thing. I had even thought, I am going to blog about this when I get home. About summer solstice and my heart longings. To send my dreams out to the longest day of the year. It was like the Universe was echoing back to me, so what do you want?

I am now asking you, what do you want? What do you long for? I am going to head back outside and write mine out, do you want to join me?

Happy Summer Solstice to all you beautiful souls out there!